Honest Scrap

The Honest Scrap Award has hit blogging world full force lately. I've been enjoying the little glimpses into people's minds and lives, but honestly was a little hopeful I wouldn't be picked. But alas, today I was given the award by my friend Jessica. I actually do appreciate it though after I started thinking about what to write because I've been having trouble coming up with a new post.
For those that don't know what the Honest Scrap Award is, you have to write 10 honest things about yourself and then award it to 4 other people. I was given this award last January so if you would like to learn 10 additional things about me, please read here. That post actually turned out as a good thing for me because I finally learned how to boil an egg properly. Thanks Camille!
Anyway, I'm tempted to refer you to every one's posts that have done this because I could easily ditto every one's comments since I feel the same way, but instead I'll try to write some of my own (though some might sound a little similar to others).

1. I love when I have something planned each day. I would rather be busy than bored, though I love lazy days too when I have nothing to do. I need to find a good balance with this. My kids do better when we are out doing things, but nothing at home would get done if we were constantly on the go. Eliza is transitioning from two naps to one and I love that I have more freedom to do things in the morning again. Eliza is only a good sleeper in her own bed so it was really hard for me to do too much when I knew she would need a nap. For the longest time, it felt like she would wake up, eat, play, sleep, and start again. We would have about a hour to do anything! I started to feel really alienated because I couldn't plan much with others. So I'm super excited to have a little more freedom again.

2. Since I kind of mentioned this in number 1, I'll move straight to this. I find it strange that I can be surrounded by so many wonderful woman, friends, family, and a husband yet I can still feel completely alienated and alone. I feel like I don't connect with many people very well anymore and I can't figure out why. I hope it's just Satan trying his best with me and I hope that now that I have a little more freedom again (as mentioned in #1) that I'll be able to feel closer to people again.

3. Having a baby really takes it's toll on me. Not only am I pregnant for 9 months (sick half of that time, then big and awkward that I can't enjoy half of the things I used to do), then I nurse a baby for 12 months. I really wouldn't have it any other way, but now that I don't feel the restrictions I feel with pregnancy and nursing, I feel so free! The other day I was thinking about how old Brooklyn was when I got pregnant with Eliza and it scared me to death! If I want to follow the same path I did with Brooklyn, then I will need to be pregnant by the end of the year. Yikes!!! I hope my heart will soften a little with this here soon or I may never be ready again. :)

4. I feel like my brain is scattered all over the place most of the time. I can't seem to get a grip on all the things I should, need and want to do each day. I always feel like I'm behind in everything. I have so much on my "to do" list and it keeps growing. I love when I accomplish something because it feels SO good. I struggle sitting on the floor and playing with my kids (though I still do it!) because I know how many other things I could be doing instead.

5. I love to talk about people. Now, I'm not necessarily talking gossip here. I just like to know what is going on in people's life and what choices they make, etc. I love to talk to people and learn about them. Now is this gossip if I share this information with others? I really don't think so. If I know something about my neighbor (just an example) and someone asks me about them, I'll tell them if it's not something personal or confidential. I'm great at keeping a secret. I only have one request. Please specify that you want it kept a secret and I'll take it to my grave. One thing that I do that drives me crazy sometimes is when I'm talking to let's say 3 people and one person asks the other person a question and if I happen to know the answer, I'll answer the question. Argh! I'm trying to do better and stop this. I don't know why I do it!

6. I feel really selfish most of the time. It seems things always fall back to me and what I want. I need to be more like Jesus and think of others before myself.

7. I love finding deals! I'm so in love with saving money!

8. Right along with number 7, I would love to figure out something I could do to help earn money for my family. It's hard to see that burden placed solely on my husband. To some of my readers that may seem funny because I could just go find a job, but we really feel my place right now is with my family. I'm just amazed at how many people start their own business or do little things to increase their cash flow. I just can't think of one thing that I could sell that someone would want to buy. I would love to have a glimpse inside an entrepreneur's head just for a day. It amazes me what some people can do.

9. I LOVE my neighbor and my ward. I feel SO blessed to live where I do. Yes, I live in Kearns, Utah and I'm trying to be better at saying that and being proud. I used to say "Salt Lake" because Kearns has such a bad reputation. However, people need to know there is a good part of Kearns and it's right where I live. Yes, bad things happen here, but tell me one place that doesn't have something bad happen? I do get really scared when I hear some of the things that happen in my neighborhood. If only I could pick all my neighbors/ward friends up and take them all somewhere amazingly safe. I'm surrounded by incredible people who have taught me so much. This is the only ward I've ever lived in since I've been married and I've learned so much about myself and have grown so much since being here. I have a giant fear that everyone will move on to bigger and better things, and we'll still be here, all alone.

10. I wish I could change the climate in Utah. I love Utah except for the winters. I don't ski or have any reason to enjoy snow. It's pretty, yes, but only for a moment. Every winter I wonder why I live here. And then I'm reminded because I love being close to my family and this is where I grew up and this is where I need to be.

Now I reward this to:
1) Jessica Orchard who is one of my dear friends who used to live down the street from me and I miss her terribly. And because her blog has not provided any information into her life besides grocery shopping and amazing vacations. I need more details, Jess. Miss ya!
2) Mindy Black who also moved away, but fortunately she's close enough to still visit, though she's slowly moving farther and farther away from me. I'm sure she's wondering how she'll ever find time to do this blog since she already has too much on her plate, but no pressure Mindy. I'm just curious to see what you would write.
3) Trista Bytheway who married one of my guy friends, but to whom I talk to more than her husband (which isn't hard to beat). She probably won't do this (am I right Trista?), but I would love to see what she writes because her blog is mostly dedicated to her kids and I'd love to learn more about her. She did recently (I mean very recently) have a baby so I know her days are very hectic.
4) Holli Belt who has been my friend since Junior High. We've had our moments of being closer than others, but has been my saving grace this past year. She's gotten me out of my house and has really been there for me when I needed someone the most. She rocks and she's hilarious so I'm curious to see what she might say.

And no pressure to any of you. I'm just merely suggesting. :) And of course, anyone else can do this too. I'd hate to leave anyone out!