For that one person who might actually be wondering how things are working out with Brooklyn and her desire to never be apart from me, I thought I would provide a little update.
She missed 4 days of preschool and she stayed in her room for the full two hours. Her room was void of all toys and fun objects. Minus the bed and, of course, she made it a jungle gym and found a way to have fun anyway. She cried a few times and would bang on the door or wall until I put a stop to that by telling her she would be choosing to go to school if she kept up that behavior. Then once her two hours were up, she wouldn't be allowed any fun until she pulled a full bucket of weeds. And it was a BIG bucket. I got a lot of weeding done. She really didn't like weeding because it was hard, but the little stinker still didn't change her mind. She would rather stay in the room and pull weeds than go to school by herself. Nothing changed.
I tried to stay consistent and follow through, but then I decided she needed to find comfort in going to school again. She had started going to dance just fine as long as I stayed in the room next to her. She start showing improvements in staying with babysitters as well. So I broke down and told her I would arrange for a babysitter for Eliza (thanks Dad and Pat) and I would go to school with Brooklyn. She wouldn't let me leave the room so I stayed pretty close to her to help her have fun. I did this for two days and then tried to bribe her to let me leave on the third day. She wouldn't have any of it. I left class half way through and waited out in the hall and Brooklyn threw a big fit. She finally calmed down enough to enjoy the last part of class. Now I have gone and waited in the room next to her class for two classes and she is doing pretty well. She still doesn't want me to leave though. She still struggles with primary as well. I know I just need to leave her and let her cry, but she cries hysterically and not just like a normal kid who cries and quickly gets over the problem.
I'm really beginning to think she's playing a game with me and I'm seriously losing. This past Sunday, it finally hit me that I needed to start having her pray for herself to overcome this problem. She will copy what I say, but hasn't ever said it on her own. She knows we are praying for her because she keeps telling me that I always pray for the same thing. Sometimes I wish the logic of it all would just work in her mind, but it hasn't quite yet. At least there are improvements, sure they are teeny, tiny baby steps, but for now that works for me!
On a much happier note, Eliza is adjusting to Nursery! Yeah!! She still doesn't like it when I leave, but she quickly recovers and has started to enjoy it.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Update
Posted by
Angie
at
9:16:00 PM
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6 comments:
Glad to hear there is some improvements. I think they are smarter than we think. It is a game to her and she wants to prove a point to you to. That night she was here at the house that she was so upset... she can definately throw a fit. Hang in there and you will get through it.
Angie, you are such a good and patient mother. Some day, she's goin to thank you for still loving her and being so patient with her. Someday when she's a mommy she'll come to you for advice and you'll laugh and she'll wonder why she was ever such a stinker. Until then, I think you should just look at the good job you are doing and know that you are a WONDERFUL MOTHER!!!
I really have been wondering how she is (or isn't) adapting. It sounds like you are doing everything right and even doing more than I would have thought of. Good for you for being consistent and strong. I think seeing punishments and threats all the way through is one of the hardest things to do as a parent. It's SO hard.
I hope Brooklyn realizes the love and peace she can get through prayer. She will come around.
Angie, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm going to say it anyway.
This too shall pass.
One day she will be 16 and not want anything to do with you. You will be the stupid mom who is embarassing. She will roll her eyes every time to say anything to her.
Hug her and tell her you love her while she will let you. I know it doesn't help the situation, but just know that it will get better. I promise.
Kira and Chandler are off track for the next two weeks. We would love to babysit Eliza for you if you need us.
I'm sorry this has been such a struggle. Just remember you're a great mom. This phase will pass. I find myself having the same thoughts about Alex's behavior often, so I know how hard it can be. We can do it!
I'm glad to hear there are some improvements. I wish things resolved themselves over night. Thank you for posting about it. I'm trying to learn all I can before Rachel gets to those phases.
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